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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346472">Crucial moments</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maria1980/pseuds/Maria1980'>Maria1980</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Downton Abbey</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, Love, Marriage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-03-27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 04:27:13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,478</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/23346472</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Maria1980/pseuds/Maria1980</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Hello everyone. Nice to still be with you all. Because of the “sitting at home” thing, I have more time than usual and I can share my vivid Chelsie imagination with you. This story is focusing at all the most important Chelsie moments, that we've seen in the series. The selection of the moments is random. There will be one crucial moment taken from each season. Some of those moments will have longer descriptions, some will have shorter ones. I will try to focus on the most significant things in the development of their relationship. Some of them will be described from Elsie's point of view and some from Charles's point of view. I see this story as a kind of summary of their love. Hope that you will enjoy it. Please take care of yourself and your families at this difficult time for all of us.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Charles Carson/Elsie Hughes</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Crucial moments</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1913-Joe Burns (Charles)</p>
<p>He suspected that something was different. He saw how nervous she was those last couple of days. He sensed that things were not the same, when she asked him if he won't mind her going to the fair. It's not that her request surprised him. He knew that Elsie was a sociable person, while he was quite the opposite. So it was not the request itself, but all the other things involved. He knew her. He knew her better than she knew herself and he has spent the last fifteen years watching her every step, every move, every face expression and every word. He knew when she was happy, sad, angry, tired etc. Before she would even open her mouth to put those emotions into words, which was not always the case, because Elsie May Hughes was not an open book. It wasn't easy to read her feelings and intentions. But for the man in love with her, with every fiber of his being, as Charles Carson was, it was not difficult to decipher her current state of mind. As soon as she mentioned about the fair, there was something that left him uneasy, with a feeling that the whole thing has something to do with a man. With other man. He didn't know who it was, but he already hated that man. He would have hated every man who even dare to look at Elsie. His Elsie. In his mind and in his heart she was always his. She belonged to him, although she wasn't aware of that, as he never let her see that in any way possible. That was one thing that he was really good at. Controlling his feelings. Keeping them inside. Burring them deep under his livery, so deep that no one would have suspected that he has those feelings. Or any other feelings for that matter. The next days have only confirmed his suspicions. He saw that she was standing in front of the mirror, trying her new, improved hat. He noticed how she became absent minded, looking through the window, thinking about something that she didn't share with him. He felt a great pain in his heart, being aware that because of his passivity, he might have lost his chance. She was clearly going to meet a man in the fair and God only knew how this will end. The worst part was, that he couldn't ask her about that, because if he did, she would have known that he was watching her, observing her and that was the one thing that he wanted to keep in secret. <br/>When she stepped into his pantry for a moment, before going into the fair and he saw how beautiful and elegant she looked, his heart went crazy again. He couldn't take his eyes off her, glancing at her, checking her up and down. She was so pretty, so lovely and she was going to meet a man. There wasn't pretty much anything he could do about it. She wasn't his property. He didn't have the authority to forbid her this. So he acted nonchalant, pretending that he was very busy with his wine books and allayed her doubts regarding the question of whether she should go to the fair and left them all alone, to be in charge of everything that night or not. So she went and he stayed. In his pantry. All alone. With his heart cut in two. Feeling that he was loosing her beloved woman forever. He didn't remember how this evening passed, all he remembered, was that he was harsher to all the staff than usual and he made some remark about everything falling apart because Mrs Hughes was missing one night. And that was true. Everything did fell apart, because she was missing. He, himself felt apart completely. He wondered how did he spent all the previous years of his life, when she was not around. How was it possible to function without this wonderful woman by his side. He wasn't really living then. He was only vegetating. That wasn't true life. That was only a prelude to his real life, which began when Elsie May Hughes crossed the threshold of Downton Abbey.<br/>The hours were passing and he was waiting. Waiting for her to come back home. To come back to him. For one terrible moment, he thought that maybe she won't come back. Maybe this man will take her with him and she will leave and he will never see her again. He felt anxiety and panic attack, when he realized that possibility. Fortunately for him, that was not the case. She came back. Right after Thomas, Daisy, William and Gwen, who returned first and made some nasty jokes about Elsie in the hall. Of course he stopped it immediately. Then she came back. With a wide smile on her face, with shining eyes. They didn't talk much that evening. He only asked her if her evening was enjoyable and she told him that it was and bade him good night. The next day was similar. She didn't talk much. She was absent minded, even though she didn't neglect her duties (it wasn't her style to do that). But her mind was somewhere else. He noticed it. He also noticed the straw doll that she was constantly looking at. In spite that she didn't say a word about that, Charles knew that she received it from him. That damned man, whoever he was, gave her that and took her mind, her soul and probably her heart away from him. He couldn't stand the thought. Terrible feelings filled his soul. He wanted to get inside her room, when she was busy in the kitchen and put that thing into the fire, if that was a way to get that man out of her heart. He had to wait another two days, before she asked him for a moment of private conversation in her sitting room. His heart clenched, because he feared the worst. He feared that she will tell him that she is leaving. However, to find out, he had no other solution, than to sit and listen to what she had to say. When she told him about the man that she knew in her youth, he was terrified. She was so focused on her story and she avoided eye contact with him, for which he was very grateful, because it wasn't difficult to guess the emotions that tormented him at the moment and she could easily see them on his face. But she didn't. She was holding the doll, telling him the story, opening the gates of her past for him. And he listened carefully, interjecting some awful jokes from time to time, to give her the feeling that he wasn't too serious about the situation. When she got to the part about that man's proposal, he was horrified. When he asked her if he proposed and she accepted, his eyes were so full of pain, his whole body felt like one, big restlessness. Before she answered, Charles thought that even his heart stopped for a while, waiting for her answer. She finally got to the point, when she told him that she rejected the man and he sighed with a relief. So she wasn't going away. She wasn't going to marry that farmer. The blasted man! Charles wanted to strangle him with his hands for coming into Elsie's life again. Their conversation was brutally interrupted, as usual, they never had a chance of getting to any point, not in this house and not with them being a heads of staff, but when Elsie left, he breathed easily, thinking that he was saved. Once again he was saved, because she wasn't going to go anywhere. Once again he could calm himself with a delusion that she was his. For how long? He didn't know that. For now it was enough that she was to stay here. With him, maybe not for him, but with him. For now it had to be enough.</p>
<p>1918-Haxby (Elsie)</p>
<p>At the beginning it was difficult for her to believe that. To realize that he was actually going to leave Downton. Leave this house and the family and his colleagues. Most of all to leave her. There were many possible scenarios, that Elsie processed in her head during all this years, that she was in love with him, but even in the most darker ones, she would have never figured it out, that he might considering going away. When she heard about Lady Mary's request, expressed by Sir Richard, she laughed inside, thinking that even Lady Mary has gone to far this time. Ask Mr Carson to leave Downton? The essence of his life? The reason of his existence? Elsie was more than sure, that this was something that he would have never considered. She was a little surprised, when he didn't refuse right away, but then she explained herself, that it was probably caused by his never ending devotion to that girl. It would seem quite rude, if he would have refused at once. So she was waiting patiently for the right moment for him to reject this nonsense idea. Yet, that moment hasn't arrived. She began to felt a little uneasy, when he confide her, that he was actually considering this proposal. She tried to calm her restless thoughts and images of Downton without him. Was it even possible for the house to funcion without Charles Carson? He was like the essence of the household. His strongest and most solid linchpin. In times of crisis or difficult situations, everyone was always reaching out to him for help. They rely on him. He was the one, who was the boss of downstairs (in spite of the fact that Elsie often managed to get things the way she wanted, by pushing him into the right direction). He was also boss of the upstairs, which some members of the household realized, more than the others. Lord Grantham might have thought that he was the head of this family, but in reality, most problems were solved by this uptight and honest to his core, giant butler.<br/>When he told her during their evening talks, about considering the proposal, she did everything she could, to persuade him to stay. She reminded him all the best moments they went through together in Downton. She kept on repeating and reassuring him how necessary he was, tickling his man pride by the way. She expressed her negative opinion about Lady Mary (he already knew how she felt about her), but she gently guided his thoughts of all the moments of her foolishness. She was hoping that all this, will allow him to refuse to the uppity minx. She hated that girl. Elsie was a kind, warm-heart woman and she was normally friendly to all people, but in case of Lady Mary, her opinion has never changed. That girl was living in belief that the world revolved around her and other people existed only to fulfill her caprices. What Mary wanted, Mary got. And now she wanted Charles. Her man, her heart, the love of her life. She wanted to take him away, to deprive him of his natural environment, just to satisfy her stupid idea of marrying Sir Richard. And all of that, was just a show for Mr Matthew, so she could prove to him, that she will not be alone, while he was engaged to Miss Lavinia. Elsie was a wise woman, she could read through people's minds and intentions easily. This whole situation was clear to her, unfortunately Charles saw it in a different way. And he was actually considering leaving her. Her sleepless nights were often now. She was lying, during long, night hours, thinking what she will do, if he will decide to leave. How is she going to go on without him? She loved him so much, that her heart ached, for the very thought of being here all alone. Of course not in the literal sense. The house was always full of people and it was not going to change, but for Elsie Hughes, only one man was important and that was Charles. She lived only for him. She started and finished every day, thinking of him, dreaming of him, waiting for the time, when he will finally make some move to transfer their relationship on a higher level. Years went by and they were still just friends, but Elsie was sure that this will change. That now, in this new, post-war world, things like the butler and the housekeeper wanting to get married, will not be as shocking as before. Suddenly all of her dreams were unpleasantly interrupted. Now, she had to face a new, horrible possibility and what she feared the most, was that in the light of this events, it might have been possible, that he was not in love with her at all. She always took it for granted, seeing him every day, noticing how he looked at her, how he talked with her, catching occasionally all those forbidden glances, that he throw at her, when he thought that she wasn't looking. She saw the darkness of his eyes, whenever she put a new dress or had a new hair-style. She knew what that meant. Yes. Elsie Hughes may not have been the woman of the world, but she certainly didn't live in a sack.<br/>And then the memorable night came. She wento into his pantry, to find him buried into his wine ledgers and she asked him if he has made a decision. When he confirmed that he did, with a heavy heart, as he, himself described it, her heart broke in two. He got up from his desk and he tested her, in a way typical for him, asking her, if she will miss him. He thought that maybe this way he will ashamed her in any way. That she won't reply, fearing to reveal too much, but he was mistaken. She replied and in the way that swept him off his feet. Without any hesitation, she told him, that she will miss him and it costs her nothing to say it. Her eyes and her face were showing everything, what was hidden deep in her heart. If he was going to leave, he had to know that she loved him. Till the day she dies, she will never forget his face when she said that. He didn't expect that. That she will express her feelings so openly. He quickly regained his composure and said some cliché about this meaning a lot to him, but she knew that he understood. Understood what she was really trying to tell him. Now the ball was at his court. It depended only from him, whether he should stay or leave. And he stayed. For a while Elsie was wondering how much this was caused by that thing with Sir Richard's request for Anna and how much her reply effected him. She blessed her lucky stars, that Sir Richard turned out to be a sneaky manipulator, right on time, but deep in her heart, she sensed that this was not the real or the most important factor that made Charles stay. Because that factor was her-Elsie May Hughes and her love for him.</p>
<p>1920-Health scare (Charles)</p>
<p>Charles Carson was not a man who was easily getting frighten. A big, strong man as he was, it took a lot to evoke fear in him. However, from the moment that he realized that Mrs Hughes was ill, gravely ill, he was frighten. He was paralyzed with fear. It all started innocently. There were a slight signs that something was wrong with Elsie. She was distracted, absent minded and lost in the world of her own. In the beginning he hardly noticed that. All people have good and bad days. It's human thing to get tired or have a worse day. Even the man of principles as Charles was, understood that. That was nothing to worry about. He even scolded her once or twice for some silly things, regarding the way that dinner was being handled. He felt enormous shame now, when he thought about that. How could he possibly picked on her about missing wine, when she was in such state? He was truly surprised with her sharp answers. Normally, she was the person who always tried to patch things up in every difficult situation, but this time it was different. She gave him a sharp-tongue answer and mentioned something about the blessed Lady Mary, who should come down from the clouds and joined the human race. He felt miffed then, but she smoothed things over, saying that they will discuss this tomorrow. Then, he saw her standing in her sitting room, watching the fire, all alone. Lost in her own thoughts completely. Her face expressed fear and pain and he couldn't take it. He wasn't able to watch his beloved woman's suffering, so he stepped inside, asking if everything was all right and she was clearly touched by his concern. He noticed that she and Mrs Patmore were hiding in the corner, talking over something. He knew they were friends, yet still something was not right here. And then it came. One bits of the conversation that he heard and his peace of mind was lost. He understood that she was ill and that she was waiting for the test results from the doctor. He knew that it was time to act, so when he took his stroll to the village and met Dr Clarkson, he assured himself that things were rather serious. He knew how to handle those kind of things. After all, he was a butler with a great experience, so tricking informations from people, was something that he was efficient with. He asked Mrs Patmore for a conversation and she confirmed, not even being aware that she did, that Elsie might have had cancer. When they finished talking, he closed himself in his pantry, sat by his desk and let his pain outside. His heart was aching, tears were running down his face, without any control. He always considered himself as a man who was in perfect control of everything. He prided oneself with it. Now, for the first time in his life, he realized, that there was something that he didn't have any control over. Elsie, his whole life, his precious treasure, was ill and there was nothing he could do about it. She was going through this nightmare all alone, without his help. She didn't even thought of telling him, which was not so difficult to understand, given how he behaved towards her recently. The very thought of her, suffering in silence, doing all her duties, everyday, without cumbering anyone with her troubles, caused that he wanted to go to her straight away and to hold her in his arms and told her what she meant to him. To open his heart before her. He waited so long. What was the point of further delay? Did propriety meant anything at all at the moment? It meant nothing. The only thing that mattered now, was her. Her pain, her condition. Charles made a promise to himself, that he will do his best to keep all the problems out of her way now, that he will help her in any way he could, till she won't receive the results. And when she will...There were two possible scenarios..If she won't have cancer, he will let her know of his intentions. He will tell her how he feels. They will built a life together. But on the other hand, if she will..If it turns out that she has cancer, he will take care of her too. He will be with her all the time. He won't leave her, until her last second. That was a possibility that he didn't want to consider now. Elsie has to be healthy, she has to live, because he already had so many plans for both of them. He wanted to buy a cottage with her, asked her to marry him and live with her, happily ever after, until the majesty of death will lean over them and divide them. <br/>Now, it was time for action. He asked her Ladyship for a moment of conversation and he brought her closer to the subject. He knew how kind-hearted she was and he knew that she will definitely consider his request for taking over some of her duties. The next thing that he did, was watching Elsie very carefully, following her every move. That was a harder task to do, because she immediately sensed that there was something different about him and she started to ask questions. Of course he denied. He pretended to be surprised, to not know anything, but he watched her all the time. Like a guardian angel. It was pretty much all he could do for his beloved woman and he fulfilled the task perfectly, as he always did.<br/>The big day has come finally and he offered to come with her to the village, to accompany her, but she kindly refused, even though she let Mrs Patmore to go with her. He didn't mind. He understood the delicacy of the situation. He stayed in the house, but didn't get much done. He tried to fill his time with polishing silver, but that was useless. He kept on checking his watch, thinking that love of his life is now waiting for a sentence. That was impossible to bear. When he heard that they went back from the village, it wasn't more than a minute, when he barged into the kitchen, asking Mrs Patmore to tell him if it was cancer or not. When she told him that it wasn't, all the heaviness left his heart. He asked her not to repeat this conversation to Elsie and went back to his pantry, to finish the polishing of the silver. Little did he knew, that in the same time, Elsie was asking Mrs Patmore about him. He didn't know that. He was relishing with joy. Cleaning the silver, he started singing. That wasn't something that happened often. Let's be precise. That never happened, but this time it did. He was so happy, as never before. Elsie will live, she is healthy and she will live. There is still future ahead of them. All the dreams about the cottage, marriage still have a chance of succeeding. Now, the path was clear. He felt like a young boy again, moving with vigor, around his pantry, with his “Dashing away with a with a smoothing iron”. He knew that she will live and she didn't even knew that he was aware of her condition. If he only looked towards the hall at this moment...Because in the hall, stood Elsie, watching him through the chink of the door, smiling to herself, with tears in her eyes. Sensing that this day not only brought back her life, but also reassured her that this man's heart belonged to her. Forever.</p>
<p>1923-The beach (Elsie)</p>
<p> </p>
<p>That was a wonderful day. Leisure time was not something common for the downstairs team. Usually, their days were filled with hard work, from dawn till dusk. They didn't have time to enjoy life, but that day was different. Thanks to the kindness of Her Ladyship, they could have enjoyed themselves to the fullest, in the shining sun, at seaside. From all the bunch, only Elsie was aware how difficult it was to get to this moment. When Charles told her the news about the day off, followed by tons of his ideas of how to spent it, she knew that that was one of those moments again. Moments, when she had to act, to indicate him the right direction. She didn't blame him for his ideas. Victoria and Albert museum? Crystal Palace? Madame Tussaud? She knew him so well. Sweet, old boobie. He was so well-read and so interested with history, but as always, he couldn't predict that not all the downstairs group was the same as him. Elsie understood it better, that when they finally got a chance to have some rest, they wanted to have fun. Homely entertainments, such as walking on the beach, eating ice-cream or simply having some harmless fun, by playing games. Elsie was like a mother for them and it's a well known fact, that mothers usually read the children's intentions better than fathers. When Charles started to bomb her up with all those crazy ideas, she knew exactly what to do. She couldn't laugh at his ideas, she knew how sensitive he was about himself. As usual and always, she pushed him into the right direction, by some subtle hints, like pinning a sea-side postcard on the board. She knew that it will take some time, before he will get it. So she patiently waited over all the next ideas, first suggesting to him to ask the staff what they would like to do. She thought that their reactions will lead him in right way, but no. Apparently he needed more time. So she waited. The moment arrived after the great ball, marking Lady Rose's presentation at the court, when they spent all the night on their feet and in the early morning, she caught him taking a little nap in the armchair, with a cup of tea in his hands. She smiled so warmly and her heart was filled with tenderness, when she saw him in that state. Her cute butler, he wasn't so young anymore and yet he constantly seemed to forgot it. Those sleepless nights didn't suit him anymore. When she watched him, her first instinct was to cover him with a blanket, to keep him warm and let him dozed off, only for a while, but before she managed to do that, he opened his eyes and finally said something that had some sense. He suggested spending the day at the beach and she sighed with a relief. Finally. It took him a little while to get there, but it was all right now. Once again, Elsie managed to get things her way, with Charles being convinced, that he was the originator of the idea. How simple, but brilliant. Women of all times were mastering in that and so was she. <br/>When they finally got there she was very happy. She let her team off guard, so they could relax properly and have some innocent fun. She watched with a smile, as Thomas and Molseley were playing some beach game, as Anna and Mr Bates were marching along a seaside, enjoying themselves, Mrs Patmore was trying the local ice-cream and Elsie thought the the test must have been positive, because she was on her third portion already. Daisy and Ivy were also having fun. Elsie herself, decided to go a little wild this day. To throw off not only her stiff housekeeper uniform, but also her stern behavior. She pulled up her skirt, showing off her legs and she turned her face towards, the sun, standing in the water. Waiting for Charles to join her. She was sure that he will. She saw the looks that he was giving her today. It was impossible to miss them. He liked her casual style, although that was probably the last thing that she could ever predict. The man made of rules, was actually enjoying her lighter side. That made her wonder and caused her mind to drift away in the world of fantasies, when she and Charles were so causal with each other. She imagined them together, in sloppy clothes, having a leisure time and enjoying mutual closeness-kisses and unhurried caresses..Stop Elsie Hughes- she scolded herself. It's a long way to that place. First of all, she had to make some move, some bold move, which would help to develop their relationship and she knew there will be no better time for that, then now. So when he finally decided to join her in the water, to paddle a little, she acted immediately. He was not a man of risque. Actually he was the opposite of that. He started their conversation, expressing doubts about paddling into the water being safe, but she swiftly erased those doubts, convincing him that everything in life is a risque. To calm his insecurities, she offered him her hand, to keep him steady. That was the official reason, but for real, she wanted to hold his hand, to touch him, make some physical contact, at last. After all those years of them being so close to each other, but yet so apart. To her amazement, he didn't protest. Even though they were not alone, even though they were surrounded by the staff, he took her hand and they walked deeper into the sea. Together. United. To meet the unknown. Literally and figuratively. There was a whole sea ahead of them and a whole of possibilities ahead of them and whatever life was to bring them, they knew they would face it together. The sea was very deep, but so was their love.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1924-Proposal (Charles)</p>
<p>At the beginning it was innocent. It all started with Mrs Patmore and the unexpected inheritance, that she received from her aunt. She asked him for advice and he was tickled about that. Proud, that she figured that he was a man of the world, knowing what business was about. He was really happy that Mrs Patmore valued his opinion, so he listened very carefully to Lord Grantham and his conversations about different building companies, to give Mrs Patmore the best possible informations and kept his image of the man, who knew what he was talking about. He was really hurt, when Elsie advised Mrs Patmore to ask someone else about it. After all, besides of wanting to give Mrs Patmore a piece of good advice, he also wanted to make an impression on Elsie. To show her, that he was not only a butler, but also a man who knew how the world works. So when she suggested that they were separated from the realities of today's world, he decided to double his efforts, just to show Elsie how smart and well orientated he was. He suggested investing in a building company, but it turned out, that Mrs Patmore had other plans. Simpler plans, involving buying a cottage and running a B&amp;B in it. When he heard about the change of plans, he was shocked and confused, that she didn't took his advice, but Elsie and Mrs Patmore convinced him that he in fact helped a lot with the idea. So in the end, he was a winner after all. All three of them, went together to see the cottage that Mrs Patmore wanted to buy and when she decided to buy it, he suddenly asked Elsie about her retirement plans. Just like that. Her answer was very mysterious. What was:”Who says I'll live to retire” suppose to mean? He wasn't sure. Then, an idea appeared in his head. If Mrs Patmore could do it, why couldn't he do it? He had a large savings, a result of many years of hard work and generous tips. He was always rather frugal, therefore he knew that buying a cottage would not be a problem for him, but that was not all. The most important part of the plan, was to buy this cottage with Elsie. Together. So they could also run a B&amp;B. That would be a great start to tightening of their relation. He still didn't have enough courage to ask her to marry him directly, so he decided that it would be a good start. He was more than convinced, that her money situation was similar to his. He knew, that given her character and her Scottish heritage, she wasn't spending money carefree, so probably it would not be a problem for her to buy a cottage with him. He was very embarrassed when he presented this offer to her. He saw how astound she was at his words. She was not expecting that. She promised that she will think about it and before he knew it, they were already looking for properties together, going through the brochures with house offers and making plans of how it would all work. He rushed things over, he wanted to make sure to get this deal to the end. Before she could change her mind. In all his certainty about his actions, he didn't notice that she was a little shy, hesitant, distant. He had a goal and he was going to  achieve it. When they saw the house on Brouncker Road, he knew that that was the dreamed destination. When they had their usual evening Sherry, he told her that they should definitely buy that one, because it was the best offer they could get. And then the bomb went off. Elsie made a surprising confession, telling him that she cannot buy this house with him and revealed a well-hidden secret about her sister and her life situation, that he wasn't aware of before. She certainly took him by surprise. He would have expected that she could withdraw from some different reasons, he was dreading of it, but something like this had never crossed his mind.. She asked him if he would afford to buy this cottage on his own and added that there was no room for her in that project. He was able to afford the cottage on his own, but that was not a key point. He wanted to buy it with her, to start their mutual history at last. Maybe in a reversed order, but still. It meant to be a new start. Unfortunately, this wasn't possible. When she told him her secret, she gained more of his respect, than earlier. This amazing woman, was working hard all her life, just to give her sister the best possible life she could, without being able to save anything or to think about her own future. She wasn't even going to retire, because she couldn't afford it. What a dreadful possibility. He knew now, that there was no other way. He had to give her a new prospects. To buy the cottage for both of them, to propose to her and to offer her a new life. And a possibility of future retirement, by paying for her sister's care so she could spent her days and nights with him. Wasn't that something that every man in love would do? Of course it was. Charles thought, that heaven above must have given him some sign right about now. Guiding him and letting him to do the right thing. He didn't waste any more time. He bought the house on Brouncker Road, few days before Christmas, registering it for both of their names. He was sure that from now on, he wanted to share everything with her. His house, his savings, his life, his bed. There was still a matter of proposal. Charles decided, that he will propose on Christmas Eve, using a moment when the family and all the rest of the staff will be busy celebrating. It won't be difficult to ask Elsie for a moment of a quiet conversation then. And so he did. He was so nervous that night, when they were walking through  the quiet servants corridor, he felt his legs were trembling and all his usual self-confidence was lost. They went to his pantry, with two glasses of punch and then he started his speech. He told her that he bought the house and registered it for both of their names. She told him that she couldn't accepted it. He asked why. She told him that their life can change soon and that he would not want to be stuck with her. And he replied that indeed he would want that, to be stuck with her that is. She looked like she was going to faint, she still wasn't sure what he meant. So he had to spew out the proposal at last and he did. He will never forget the look on her face. It was like she didn't really believe that this was happening. She didn't answer him straight. He had to drag it out of her, but when she finally told him that she will marry him and called him old booby, adding that she thought that he will never ask, he was so happy, that he thought his heart will burst. He looked like he was about to cry and when she saw that, she gently put her hand on his forearm and her look of love told him everything. Upstairs, the family and the staff were singing carols, being caught in the moment of celebrating Christmas. Downstairs, in his pantry, he and Elsie, were caught in the moment when their mutual love was finally revealed. They stood there, for a longer while, happy and a still a little uncertain, enjoying the moment that they were both waiting for so many years.</p>
<p> </p>
<p>1925-Wedding and married life</p>
<p>Elsie</p>
<p>Elsie still couldn't believe it. Even when she was already standing in the church, in front of reverend Travis, accompanied by all their friends, with Charles by her side. She still couldn't believe, that she was now his wife. It was a long road leading up to that moment. Very long and twisted road. On many points of that road, she was sure that this will never happen, but yet it did. At last. Mrs Hughes has transformed into Mrs Carson. After all they went through it was almost a miracle. Even after he proposed to her, they had to go through some bumpy ways. She was so incredibly happy, when he finally got the courage to ask her to be his wife, but it wasn't long, till she started to have some doubts, which she reluctantly shared with Mrs Patmore or what was more accurate, Mrs Patmore noticed that something was wrong and dragged it out of her. She told her, that she was uncertain about the intimate part of their future marriage. It was not that she didn't want that or didn't dream about that for all those years, because of course she did. She couldn't even count, how many sleepless nights she spent, dreaming about Charles Carson and his strong arms, holding her tightly and worshiping her throughout the night. Of course she didn't tell that to Mrs Patmore, such things are not meant to be shared, even with the closest friend. Instead, she revealed the part of her doubts, that made her uneasy-a worry about her body and it's attractiveness. She was a middle aged woman and she knew all her flaws. But till now, they were her flaws. Only her. She wasn't sure how to handle with an awareness, that now, he will see those flaws too. The constant worry of disappointing him, have poisoned her happiness, caused by the fact that her beloved man has decided to spent the rest of his life with her. Elsie asked Mrs Patmore for help, she needed an emissary, because there was no way that she could talk it over with him. What would he think of her? Fortunately for her, Mrs Patmore was brave enough to face this problem. Even though she needed two conversations with Mr Carson to get to the point, they finally made it. And then, there it was. The most beautiful words that she had ever heard from the man, given by the lips of Mrs Patmore. He told Mrs Patmore, that he loved Elsie and that in his eyes she was beautiful. He wanted a full marriage. She knew the truth now. So there was nothing else to do , but to clear that question with him and that was exactly what she did. The occasion arrived during happy downstairs celebrations, ending Bates's fight with a that horrible Green matter. They were both together in his pantry, when he was scolding Daisy for hel foolish behavior. When she left, they started to talk. He was sad and confused, because he thought that she wanted to withdraw, but she soon soothed his concerns, telling him that it was a misunderstanding. That she knew how he felt and all her uncertainty was from the fact, that she was afraid to disappoint him, but now, when she knew that he was sure..He was sure. So there was nothing more to do, but to tell him that if he wants her, he can have her. She couldn't believe that she was bold enough to say those words, but she did. His answer was bolder. He kissed her. They've kissed, for the first time. Shyly, shortly, but sweetly. He took her face in his hands and kissed her forehead lovingly. They spent quite a long time, hugging each other. They've deserved the closeness.<br/>When this important issue was resolved, they started to quarrel about the style of the wedding. Elsie knew that everything would be all right, if the uppity minx was not involved, but as usual, she wanted things to go her way and that was something that Elsie couldn't allow. And she didn't. In the end, the wedding reception was exactly as she wanted it to be. On this wonderful, spring day, she and Charles were finally happily married to one another. The party was cheerful. They were among family they served, among their closest friends. Food, music and tons of good wishes. It was all they could have asked for. But the best was yet to come.<br/>When the celebration was over and they were finally left alone, she understood why Charles was so determined to have a full marriage. She imagined those moments with him many times. Spent a lot of night hours, thinking what it would be like. In all her dreams, she could not have predicted how wonderful it was. She was a practical woman, with common sense. She wasn't someone who would fall into passion easily, but this...Their wedding night..Warm and full of stars, first night in her life that she didn't spent alone, first time in her life when she shared a bed. In the beginning, she was so intimidated by him. Her wonderful ,large man. She was shy, she wasn't sure how to behave, what to do. All those doubts were swiftly erased by him. When she saw the endless love in his eyes, the utter adoration for her, when she felt how impatient he was to see her naked, to touch her, to feel her, all of her, she soon forgot all her second thoughts and she got carried away by the moment. It was so wonderful to have him so close, to feel him, near her, on her, inside her. His hands, his lips on her body. Touching and tasting everything, all of her. She forgot the whole world, submerging in his love completely. He was so tender, so delicate to her, she knew that he would be like this. That he would not be selfish in any way. That he would think first of all about her, that he would quickly learn what she wanted, what she needed. Her fear about this moment was totally gone and all that had left, was those sweet moments, when her man showed her the deepness of his love for the first time. When they finished making love, neither of them was eager to divide. On the contrary. They still wanted to be so very close. All the time. They finally drifted off to sleep, rocked by the sounds of their breaths. When she woke up in the middle of the night and that happened few times, she just had to touch him lightly, being careful to not to wake him or kiss his cheek tenderly, to make sure that he was actually there, with her, in her arms, that this was not another of her dreams, that will be interrupted harshly in the morning. When it was dawning and he stirred in his sleep and slowly opened his eyes, she saw the broad smile on his face and she felt how he embraced her tightly, kissing the crown of her hair. And then she knew. That there was no other place in the world, that she would want to be or no other thing that she would want to do, for the rest of her life, than to be with him. In his arms, in their bed, in their mutual, married life.</p>
<p>Charles</p>
<p>Charles has waited for this so many years. He dreamed about that and wondered what it would be like to have her as his wife. Wondered, if he would ever find enough courage to ask her and now that he did and she agreed, it was like he gained a new life. Improved life. Life filled with something more than serving the family and polishing silver. His beloved woman made him dizzy, whenever he saw her, his heart and body went wild. He simply couldn't wait for the moment when they will became husband and wife. It was almost to good to be true. After all those years, that they've spent together, they were finally meant to be one. One body, one mind, one soul. He wanted everything from her. To connect with her in every possible aspect. All his dreams, put in the box, for such a long time, were now to come true.<br/>Life is not always simple and so before they stood in front of the altar, they had to face few problems. When Elsie started to be reluctant to settle the date, he felt uneasy. The very thought that she might have changed her mind, scared him terribly. When Mrs Patmore came to him, asking about the arrangement and the terms of the future marriage, he knew that something was in the air. It took him a while, but he understood that she wanted to give him some message. So he asked her for a second conversation and he was anxious, until he learnt a cause of Elsie's strange behavior. She sent an emissary, to know his feelings and she did. He put the truth into the simple words. There wasn't anything particularly complicated about the the fact that he loved Elsie and considered her beautiful. That was the truth and that was what he said to Mrs Patmore. He was never sure of anything in his life, more, than wanting a full marriage with Elsie. How could it be any different? He dreamt about this woman for so many years and now, marrying her, he would not even bear a thought of not being close to her in a physical sense. God only knew how much he wanted her. How desperately he wanted her, all those years. They were living together so long, they knew each other so well, but it still hadn't weakened his passion for her. That woman initiated a fire in him and he was not eager to extinguished that fire. He wanted her as his wife, in every meaning of that word, especially this meaning.<br/>When he and Elsie could finally talk it over in his pantry, he couldn't believe what he heard from her. She was afraid to disappoint him? Didn't she know that that was not possible? That he could never be disappointed with her, loving her and wanting her, as much as he did? Obviously, she wasn't aware of that. So he had to let her know. The moment when she told him, with burning eyes, that if he wants her, he can have her, was a turning point. From now on, he could no longer withhold his passion and so he kissed her. Gently and shortly, because he didn't want to scare her with an eruption of passion. He put all his love to that kiss and when he held her in his arms, nothing else mattered anymore. Only her.<br/>They've managed to get through all the misunderstandings about the wedding reception, even though at some point he was more than sure that they won't. Lady Mary was involved and he was in the middle of the conflict. The woman that he loved, was on one side and the young woman he adored, was on the other. That was a difficult situation. When Elsie expressed her view about the wedding so freely, without any hesitation, in front of the family, he knew that she was right. Wasn't she always? That was her wedding, their wedding and her wishes should be respected, first of all. Before he even realized, they were already married and celebrating those joyful moment with their friends. He was so proud, standing next to the woman, that he wanted for so long. To be able to call her his wife, in front of other people, was one of the best things that he had ever experienced in his life.<br/>And then there came the wedding night. The moment that he waited for so impatiently. He was nervous, of course he was. He almost forgot about that sphere of life. All his unfortunate youth experiences, were long forgotten. Now, he was with the love of his life, so close, as they've never been before and he had to do all he could, to show and prove to her, how much he loved her. The closeness of her body was intoxicating. Her smell, her silky skin, her sweet lips, it was all enough to loose his mind. When she overcome her initial shyness and touched him for the firs time, he thought that he will go mad with desire. When they kissed, he never wanted it to end. When they made love, he felt like not only their bodies, but also their souls were connected. There was nothing more beautiful than a full union with her. When she closed her eyes and whispered his name lovingly, he was in heaven. To feel her so close, to know that he was able to give her such ecstasy, was enough to drove him over the moon. <br/>When they finished their lovemaking, he thought that all those years when he only lived to serve the Crawleys, were truly wasted. What was the meaning of a dinner style or vine decanting, compared to this? To loving and cherishing his wife, making her so incredibly happy. He knew now, that there was nothing else, he would rather do till the end of his life, than to be with Elsie, to spent every minute of his life, proving her how much he loved her. And that was exactly what he intended to do.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>That was quite a long story...Not to brag or anything, but I spent the entire week writing it. Apparently sitting at home suits me ;-) I sincerely hope that you will like this story. Maybe it was all said before, we all know that, but still I thought that such a summary of all the important Chelsie moments would be nice. As always, sorry for any mistakes. If you like the story, please let me know. Please, stay safe and keep on isolating, as much as you can. See you soon!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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